Family Bonding?
by EderNimrais
Summary: Eugene tests Leonis and Niel on whether they truly can be call men of this world known as Agarest. The end result is a new religion, someone screaming in pain, a boy crying in the corner, a massage and tea dumping... what kind of test is this man giving?


Two boys sat in leather chairs inside the room they shared in the inn. First is a blond boy with had the newly created weapon known simply as a gun. On his head sat a set of goggles above his sea blue eyes. The other had brown hair with hazel eyes and a sword sitting beside him.

"So Niel." Leonis spoke to break the silence. "Why do you think he wanted us to stay in our room this morning?"

Niel raised his shoulders in response. "Beats me, I hope he doesn't waste our time though since I need to practice today."

"I see…" Silence entered the space as the two heard footsteps. "Ten says it's him."

"I say not, you are on." Niel said, glad he is about to make some quick money.

The door opened to the inn room to have a male in his mid forties. Blue hair is the first sign of the male and if that didn't, the red jacket made it more prevalent. In his hand next to his sword is a meterstick. Niel shuffled through his pockets and pulled out the money he had just lost.

Leonis gladly accepted the money and stuffed it in his pocket. "Thank you so much for the money."

"Niel, did you bet against me?" Eugene asked as the boy slowly nodded in shame. "Leonis, give him the money back, the boy hardly has any left for ammunition."

"Because you never let me have any father!"

"_Not like either of you two I would trust with our funds. You would spend it on useless material." _Leonis thought as a glimmer appeared in the eyes of the older male.

"Now, I have asked you two to remain you're your room today for a very special reason." Eugene said raising his meter stick. "Today is the graduation of you two from mere boys to true men. And I, as your father will personally distribute the test."

"Yes sir!" Niel exclaimed with excitement in his veins.

"Eugene, you are not my father. Your cousin is my mother." Ladius spoke but got the end of the ruler in his head.

"Reasons boy. As of this moment, you are one of the Lagrange brotherhood and I expect you to participate as one. Just like your cousin." Eugene pointed his stick at his son who seemed ready for anything.

"Let's start already." Niel said as Eugene nodded and Leonis reluctantly stayed.

"Very good. Now, this will be a simple test where I ask you a couple of questions. Answer them to the best of your abilities and I will judge them accordingly." Leonis and Niel nodded in unison. "Very good, Leonis, you are first."

"So be it, what is my question?"

"You see a beautiful woman around your age walking down the street. You are heading in her direction as she is to you, what do you do?" Eugene asked as the question pondered the boy as to why it is being asked.

"Ugh… be kind and say hello." Leonis answered as the meter stick slammed down on his right hand. Sharp pain coursed through his hand that related to his body going numb. "Ouch, what the heck was that for!?"

"Wrong answer, strike one." Eugene turned to his son. "Niel, you are next."

"Bring it on." Niel commanded as the confidence radiated from his body.

"Alice asks you for assistance in shopping for clothes, how do you respond?"

"I immediately say yes and willingly carry the bag and anything she may buy." Niel answered as Eugene nodded and clapped at his answer.

"Correct, well done, you are ahead of your cousin." Eugene commented as Niel grew a cocky grin on his face and turned to his brother figure with it on.

"How is his answer any different from mine?" Leonis asked.

"Because, you did not even attempt to process with the conversation. You failed so terribly it reminds me of your father and mother somewhat… oh dear…" Eugene said seeing the possibility that Sieghart's denseness and Linda's shyness both entered the mindset of the boy before him. "NO, I will not accept it, we WILL make you into a man, right Niel!?

"Yes father! Do not worry brother, we will help you learn the ways of becoming a true man." Niel said and slung his arm around Leonis's neck, only for the male to move it off.

"I am sorry, but I have important matter to attend to. If you will excuse me." Leonis rose to his feet but Eugene walked in front of the only exit aside from the five story drop from the window.

"You are not leaving until we have converted you the Lagrange Religion."

"Lagrange Religion, first you said it was a brotherhood. Please move or I will have to make you."

"And how do you plan to make me move? You are not as skilled as myself in swordplay." Eugene declared, knowing he is right.

"Do you really want to know?"

Leonis asked as the old fart before him refused to move. He took a deep breath before howling the name of one high elf and her very intimidating body guard. Almost at his command, a beast with two spears the towered the male in front of the door appeared behind Eugene. Niel's change of face signaled Eugene that things have changed.

"Ehh… hi Galios, how are you-" The larva grabbed Eugene and manhandled him like he is a child.

"What seems to be the problem Leonis?" Alice spoke to the boy she treats like a son.

"Eugene is basically trying to contaminate me with this 'Lagrange Religion' thing." Leonis said as a sparkle shined from Alice's amethyst eyes.

"Again…" Alice said, remembering the time he tried this when Leonis was just a child and not a teenager. "Galios?"

"Yes master?" the monster of a larva asked while not lightening his gripping on the adult.

"You have permission to break his bones. Do not kill him though; he may be of some use in the future." Alice ordered her servant whose face opened to a smile, a rare sight.

Niel had a chill run down his spine at the thought of what Galios was about to do with his father and tried to free him from the brute. The only result was the Lagrange father and son now in the grips of Galios. The larva turned to his master and showed him the boy in his clutches.

"Same treatment, except to a lesser degree." Alice said as Niel's face paled at the words. "Now come Leonis, I will give you a nice massage for all the trouble they have caused you." Alice gently grabbed Leonis's right hand and the two made their way to his room.

"Lucky bastard!" Eugene shouted in their general direction. He suddenly felt the holder tighten his grip. "ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!"

"I do not approve you speak to my master in such a tone." Galios spoke in a dark and evil voice.

"Father, what do we do now?" Niel said, fearing for his life.

"Only one thing to do in this situation my boy." Eugene bravely turned his head to face the larva in the eyes. The two shared a brief stare before Eugene spoke. "Please spare the boy, you can have me instead!"

Galios thought on the matter for a moment until a thought came to mind. "Very well." The larva released the child who frantically ran into the room and locked it, abandoning his father. "However." Galios slammed his other hand around Eugene's body who squealed "It is the responsibility of the father to atone for the actions of the son; you shall have his punishment added on to your own."

"Please… have mercy great larva of the divine goddess Alice."

"Flattery will only make your suffering much worse."

That day, everyone within a one kilometer radius of the inn could hear the screams of pain and agony from the older member of the Lagrange family. Alice placed earmuffs on her and Leonis's ears as she proceeded to massage his tired body from the constant training. Niel cried in the corner at the sounds of his father who would survive since Alice said to make sure, but how much only the best delivering the pain could tell.

* * *

_**Random Segment with Winfield and Thoma!**_

In a tea house in the one of the unnamed towns in an unnamed country on an unnamed island with a very old clock tower sat two people drinking tea and crumpets. Thoma and Winfield decided to defy time and space with their unmatched traits and have a cup of tea and enjoy the sites.

"I must say Winfield, this tea is superb, and these crumpets are- Alright, I can't do this anymore." Thoma moved his cup of tea to the center and gave his crumpets to a nearby door sitting with his master. "The food on this island sucks."

"Isn't that what the place is known for my loyal student."

Winfield looked in the tea in his cup and saw a male being tortured by a larva that looked a lot like Borgnine with a boy who looked like his son cowering in a corning. A thought of how Borgnine as treated him in each attempt at hot springs flashed into his mind.

"Thoma my boy, you would never leave me behind if Borgnine and the ladies happen to capture me right?"

"I would sacrifice my being to rescue you from the clutches of the evil being known as Borgnine." Thoma said.

"Yes, Borgnine is the evil we aspire to surpass and allow us to enter the garden of ripe fruit."

Thoma nodded and looked at the tea he had. "Made in America… wonder what this America is?"

"I don't know my boy." Winfield said and grabbed his tea cup as did Thoma. "But it sure does suck." The two poured the tea over the edge where their table sat into the iconic river.

* * *

**Author's Notes – **American tea sucks. Only one time have I thought my tea was good but I found it was made in Japan so I officially said screw mainland tea and sticking with tea from The United Kingdom or Japan. Maybe China but just maybe since I hear they have good drinks.


End file.
